Happy Birthday, Sleepy
by go go ravenclaw
Summary: It's Jake's birthday, and Suze has a special present for him. Today, Suze will realise what family means. Today she will accept her new family and realise her love for them. Today, step-brother will become brother.


'Sleepy?' I winced inwardly as I– once again– used my nickname for my stepbrother.

'Gawd, yeah, I am,' he muttered, yawning.

I rolled my eyes. 'I've got something for you.'

Sleepy raised his eyebrows, blue eyes filled with drowsiness. 'What?'

I can't believe that this guy isn't even excited that it's his birthday. Not that I make a big deal out of mine. I'm not a kid or anything.

But still. He could make an effort to stay awake.

'Come with me,' I said, tugging his shirt a little. He sighed and stood up.

'Is this gonna take long, Suze? I came back really late from college last night and I just wanna–'

He stopped short when he saw what I'd led him to.

'A 2002 Camaro,' he breathed after swearing colorfully. 'How, Suze?'

'I've–' I cleared my throat– '–been saving. Happy birthday.'

He ran over– yeah, Sleepy _ran_– to the car and let out a whoop of joy.

Never in my two years in Carmel, California, had I seen Sleepy exhibit so much emotion.

Seriously.

I just grinned while he examined every corner of the car. I'd tell him later that it was to be paid in installments, but still. _I'd _be paying. And it was only like fifty dollars a month.

I threw the keys to him. 'Enjoy. Trig calls.'

He caught them and looked at me sarcastically. 'Get in the car, dude,' he drawled, some of the boredom back in his voice.

I shrugged and got into the car. Sleepy shut the door carefully.

'Do not,' I said, 'bang this car up.'

'Seatbelt,' he said.

Then he put his foot on the pedal and we were going so fast that I could barely see anything outside.

'Jake, slow down,' I said through gritted teeth. 'It's all yours. It's not going away.'

He turned around and gave me a lopsided grin. 'This rocks.'

I rolled my eyes and held on to my seatbelt. Finally he pulled to a stop.

'Not here,' I breathed.

'I come here to think.'

I looked at him skeptically, because

a) I didn't know he had the capability to think, and

b) the Observation Point was never a place where people came to think

'What? Not all of us make out here, you know. Or get beaten up.' He eyed my stitches.

'Hey–'

'I'd told you to listen to Mom.'

There it was. _Mom. _Hello, _step-_mom.

'Jake, er, no offense, but since when did you start calling Mom _Mom_?'

He didn't say anything for a second, but I saw his knuckles turn white because he'd tightened his hold on the steering wheel.

'You got a problem with that?' he growled finally. 'Just 'cause you call Dad _Andy–_'

'Susannah.'

I looked behind and for a second I thought it was Jesse. But then I remembered that he was off to medical school and would be returning in the fall.

No, this was Cynthia Ackerman.

I raised my eyebrows questioningly, but I knew what she meant. There was a reason that she had come back, for however small a time.

She gave me a meaningful look. I nodded and turned to Jake as she shimmered and vanished.

'This isn't about names, Jake,' I said quietly, putting a hand on his, on the steering wheel. That's when I realized that he hadn't grabbed it so tightly out of anger: his hand was trembling slightly.

He blinked and said, 'Let's go sit outside.'

I shrugged and got out of the car. Sleepy was sitting on the edge of the cliff, just where the guardrail was. I shuddered involuntarily; memories of Michael still creeped me out a bit.

I sat down next to Sleepy, for the first time not caring about my clothes. And snakes.

_Snakes don't come out at night, _Jesse had said. I smiled.

I looked at Sleepy. He was looking towards the ocean, and his eyes had that usual unfocused look. _I want to sleep, _he seemed to say.

I wanted to ask him a million questions. Something had to be wrong if his mom's ghost had shown up again. I kind of knew what the problem was, but I guess I was too uncomfortable about the whole thing. I mean, he was my older brother– God, _step_-brother.

We sat in silence until the sun went down, below the sea. In the blood-red light, Sleepy looked…sad. So, so sad.

I couldn't help it. I reached out took his hand. Something, _anything _to get that look off his face.

'My mom,' he said finally, 'died when I was ten.'

I didn't say anything.

'I was the oldest. Brad was eight, Dave four. Dad told me what he was going to do.'

I didn't say anything.

'I told him not to. I said that I'd take care of her.'

I wanted to say something, but I didn't.

_It's pointless, _I wanted to say. _It'd have been pointless. You wouldn't have been able to bear the sight of her, so weak and helpless. _

But I didn't.

'He explained. He was very patient. Still, after Mom died, I was mad at him for a long time. I wouldn't talk to him. I thought he'd killed her.

'And until he met your mom, everyone was just so…silent. I wasn't always like this, y'know. Dave–well, he had always been a dork and he still is. Brad just turned to his weights and tried to forget everything. I didn't know what to do. Nothing could distract me. And seeing Dad the way he was–totally silent and sad. That hurt.' Sleepy looked away.

_My _eyes were stinging now, let me tell you. I never knew that Sleepy could be so…different. I mean, deep down I had always thought of him as a zombie…no feelings.

'I never let myself remember anything– I kept myself busy in school, and jobs, and parties, but at the back of my mind I always knew that I wasn't happy. But I was oldest, y'know. I wanted to be strong for Dad, and Dave, and Brad–'

'Whoa, Jake, that's a huge burden you're carrying. I know how it feels,' I finally said, trying to speak past the lump in my throat.

Sleepy turned towards me. His eyes were sparkling with tears. 'I just miss her, you know?'

I nodded and bit my lip, trying not to cry. Because if I cried, then what would Sleepy do? I mean, he was already crying, and then–oh, never mind.

'I– if– it's okay if you want to cry,' I said lamely. 'I won't tell. I mean, I know Do–Brad would gloat over you all his life or something.'

He shook his head, laughing. I smiled uncertainly. And I didn't realize when the laughter turned to tears. Next thing I knew, my arms were around him and his head was on my shoulder and he was crying, and I was holding him and patting his back.

Let me tell you, this was very uncomfortable. Not physically, either. I'd never seen Sleepy so…sad. Vulnerable. And I've never seen anyone older to me break down. In front of me, I mean. And specially not Sleepy, who seemed to be the most I-don't-care-about-anything person that I'd ever met. Except for myself, maybe. And Sister Ernestine.

'We killed her, man,' he kept on saying. 'We killed her.'

I was surprised at how all the Ackerman brothers seemed to think that they'd murdered their mom, while what they'd been doing was a favor to her.

'Crap, Jake, no one killed your mom,' I said angrily. 'Why don't any of you get that?'

I saw Cynthia materialize behind Sleepy, and she tried to stroke his hair but, of course, she couldn't.

Sleepy shivered and looked behind him quickly. Cynthia smiled wanly at me and then disappeared.

Sleepy blinked at me. 'My mom was here, wasn't she? She was there in the backseat of the car as well.'

I didn't even try to deny it. 'She doesn't blame you, Jake. She still loves you. All of you.'

'She does?'

I nodded. 'And so does my mom. I don't have any problem with you calling her mom. I just call Andy _Andy _because that's how I am. I love him the same. We're all one big family now, Jake. We're supposed to be there for each other. And–' I gulped– '–and, I just wanted to let you know– I'm gonna be there too.'

Before he could say anything, I got up. 'Let's go. Andy'll have a fit if we're late for dinner.'

Sleepy rolled his eyes and got up. 'That he will.'

When we reached home, Sleepy did a surprising thing. He got out, opened my door, pulled me out and hugged me.

To say I was shocked was an understatement. I mean, I was totally flabbergasted. It's nice to know that _someone _likes me around here, though, from my step-brothers.

Which totally isn't fair, actually. I mean, Doc's really nice to me. He loves me. I know he does. And Dopey is, well, Dopey, but I know that he wouldn't leave me to die exactly.

I hope.

I hugged Sleepy back and closed my eyes. I didn't feel like crying any more, for some reason. I was totally calm now.

'Thanks, Suze,' Sleepy whispered. 'Thank you so much.'

'You're welcome,' I said into his chest, reveling in the few moments of peace and love that I had in my not-so-peaceful life.

I knew in that moment that I loved Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, everyone. This was what family was about. Being there for each other and helping each other out. I knew what Gina meant when she said I was lucky to have three step-brothers. No, brothers.

'I'm sorry for everything,' I muttered even though I didn't know what I was sorry for.

'Me too,' he said, stroking my hair.

We pulled apart and started walking towards the front door, where a very surprised Dopey was waiting with his arms folded in the doorway.

'You've been crying,' he sneered at Sleepy.

Sleepy rolled his eyes. 'Dream on, buster.'

Dopey grinned uncharacteristically and thumped Sleepy's back. 'Great car, isn't it?'

I smiled proudly and walked into the dining room where everyone was waiting for us.

6


End file.
